S-T-O-P

The world tried to take today from me.

12:06 am – Found out that I may have to start back to work a day BEFORE  I thought I had to. I was planing on taking all of tomorrow to create and finalize my plan of attack. (or as some pep’s call it in the biz, “lesson plans”) Although I had not heard from my boss, so I was slightly unsure about the actual date of return.
*I put in an e-mail to my boss asking for clarification. Now my plan is to get though tomorrow morning so I can spend the rest of the day working on my plan of attack.

10:30 am – Wake up in a panic and go to take a Xanax and when I take a sip of my drink a stink bug (as we call them in N.C.) has flown in my drink and is now half way down my throat. I feel it’s little legs crawling as I cough it back into my glass and it tries to swim away!
*Decided I was now allowed to take 2 Xanax

12:10 pm- Woke up in a panic because I never remember falling back asleep and I should have been picking up my mini-bestie, Sarah, for lunch and a movie.
*When I went to text her, she had already texted me saying “Could we do 12:45/1:00?” Yes!

1:10 pm- Went to pick up an order for lunch. When I was stopping at a stop sign, I started to turn my wheel in the direction I was going to be turning. A lady and her daughter, who were jay walking, decided that I had not stopped far enough away from them and proceeded to yell at me and Sarah. “DO YOU SEE THAT SIGN? IT SAYS STOP! S! T! O! P!” We were speechless. I am sorry that I had startled her but I was stopped! THEN, her husband, stands in the middle of the intersection and yells at us “AND NOW THERE IS ANOTHER SIGHT RIGHT HERE! IT SAYS S! T! O! P! YOU GET IT? BUT YOU GO ON AHEAD!”
*I waved and smiled. I explained to Sarah that the best thing I could do was stay calm. Nothing makes people more angry than when you stay calm as they continue to get wound up.

4:10 pm- After multiple movie theater times and location changes, a group of us make it to the movies. Mid way through the previews I get the text from my boss that I should, in fact, be at work tomorrow. And now, the panic is back. I wanted to turn tail and run. I thought maybe I could just go sit in the lobby and work on my phone while my friends enjoyed the film but I felt so bad.

And then I remembered the crazy lady at lunch. “S-T-O-P!” So I did. For the rest of the movie all I focused on was how much I loved being with my friends and husband.

I have spent all day running around trying to make things work. And today was not my day. So sometimes you just have to stop and try again tomorrow. I have one class, and then I will spend the rest of my day trying to make things work again. That’s all I can do. I just think that sometimes I have to remember that there is a difference between quitting and stopping. I’m stopping for today. I am down. I will do what is needed for my son and the necessities of life. I just have to work on trying not to let it upset me that everyday is not going to be a win.

(The first one of you to come back with “You’re alive, and that’s a win.”, may a stink bug land in your drink tonight!)

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