I am really exhausted. All day I have tried to make it Wednesday. Wednesday is really not the day that most people want it to be. Normal people dream of Friday or even Saturday. For me, Wednesday is the day before treatment. Please don’t get me wrong, I do not look forward to actually getting the treatment. It is really more the aftermath that I look forward to. It is the boost of energy that makes me feel like a human again instead of the human that I have to put on for show on days when I am weaker. I have gotten good at playing pretend. For the most part I am able to play the part. Well balanced so that those around me are not able to tell when I am struggling unless I tell them that I am. I have had 8 years of practice. I  am not being purposefully dishonest. I just don’t want to bum everyone out.
Regardless, I am planning very carefully the next two days with the hopes that I will make it through with out a physical or mental break down. One your mark…get set…


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