There is nothing worse than seeing life go on past and around you and you cannot be a part of it.
I have nothing to offer at the moment. Just a silly quip, a thank you, I will try to do that, lets talk, but people have better things to than talk to a sick person and I understand that. I hate being sick. I know that a stupid statement, everyone does. I mean just middle of the road sick. Because then, I am alone. Then I am not spoken to for hours and it seems normal. It happens when I am in the hospital too, but if I strike up a convo, at least sometimes someone will talk to me. But now, they have 100 other things to take care of and I am just left to not only fend for myself but not bother them as well. I feel like a bother.
And maybe I am! You know, those people at hospitals are paid to care of me. They do more than care but they come around about every hour to see if you need food juice anything. And they just check in to let you know they are there. They are professional sick people checkers or as they like to be called nurses. I personally like mine better.
Here is what it boils down to. I am miserable. I cannot hold my Eli. I have seen my mother once and my Noah maybe 3 times. So on top of being sick, I am just lonely. I think the saying needs to be changed.
Misery need company to swing by and let it know that it still loves it, despite its current state.
I am clearly needy right now and am on WAY to may decongestants.
I think some people thought I was saying that Noah was not taking very good care of me. He was doing the best he knows how. He was the baby of his family. He never had to take care of sick siblings. And even when I am sick, most of the time there are people who are there to take care of the medical things and he takes care of the philological side. And then we get a third party who helps making sure that the ever revolving world goes on with out us. But sometimes that is harder than others.Noah is an amazing Father, a great Son, a loyal friend. and above all he is my superhero! We created a super hero name for you, I remember….so much is a blur now. But if I can ever get in to that computer and get to that tool bar, we are going to have it. If now…we start from scratch. We know so much more than we knew then!