Kick Me When I’m Down

Its time to be honest. I am at one of my lowest of lows. I will spend every ounce of being in public looking like I am OK so if you see me, don’t ask, because that is even more wasted energy that makes me have to cover up the face that I am not ok.
And I’m not ok.
Will I be?… hells yeah…does is seem like it right now?… well yeah, but it feels like it is going to be harder than I think it is going to be. Things are always worse in your mind than they are in your really life. Right now it feels like the end. Right now I want to throw my  hands up and say I don’t care about the students, I don’t care about what their mommies want, if they really want me, they will figure out you have been through 3 theatre teachers this year alone!
But I digress. I have to hold on to what I know is true. That my students love me, that they would care if I was not there. Some I don’t think would bat an eye. And that’s fine with me! But others would really wonder what could have been….I have to hang on to kids, to moments like those.

ok now i have to go be sick…..

night ya’ll

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