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I was taking one of my little buddies out to rehearsal tonight and some how we got on the subject of fears. She told me she had this thing where she did not like it when she did not know what was going to happen. She had been sick recently and was nervous about going back to school on Monday just because she did not know how far behind she was going to be and just how much she had missed in general not being at school for a few days. I reassured her that fearing the unknown was quite common. Then I started thinking about how there are really two types of “Fear of the Unknown”.
I just googled searched “Phobia name for fear of the unknown” , and the first thing that came up is Xenophobia. Which is the first type I thought of. It is that type of “fear of the unknown” that most people in society equate with hatred of a culture they do not understand. There is no attempt made to try to educate ones self about the unknown culture or society. It is just unknown so it is feared. Also note that these fears tend to be irrational not just unfounded.
Then there is the type of “fear of the unknown” that stems from knowledge. She was fearful about returning to school because past situations had shown her that no matter how hard she worked to get some perspective on what she would be encountering upon her return, there was no way she could know. Now, I know the world is FILLED with surprises. We all get thrown for a loop and have to play the hand we are dealt. Trust me, I was not at all fearful of going to the doctors office over a cold. But I ended up walking out with a diagnosis of a rare blood disease. But my little buddies fear rang all too real to me. That fear was felt every time I had a meeting with my boss or knew I was going to be working with Satan.
So today’s meeting was like everyone was either stoned or drunk. They were so nice, constantly making contradictory remarks, and did not seem to have a clue as to what production we were doing. It was like neither one of them had picked up a script. It was insane! I never know what I am going to be walking into. The only thing I know for sure, is it will not be positivity. The only thing I will not fool myself into believing is that it is going to last, or hell, that it is even real.
I would LOVE to say this will be my last post regarding this. It will not be. I will say this, I am going to make a conscious effort to write about other things more. I am more than this. So much more. Not better than, more than. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a dog owner, a cat keeper, a patient, and I want to be REALLY GOOD at all of those things, and then I know that everything else that should be in my life will still be there.

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