I am sure there are things that I should have done but they will have to wait. I have promised Eli my time. You can have what is mine but this is his. I gave it to him and I refuse to take it back. I will be back soon, I promise. Gone just long enough to remind my son that he comes first.
I will write this week. Just not as much. And only once he does not need me.
Today was another day of celebration, big crowds, and lots of nerves.
Today’s nerves were different. Today’s required medication. Not to say that I did not enjoy myself. But I was being thrown into a situation where I knew maybe 4 people (I was wrong, I only new 2 1/2 counting Eli), a lot of beer, and none of it was mine. If I had known I could have medicated that way…well…I honestly don’t know which is better. But I do know which is faster. And which makes for a better day.
I was able to focus on the good and tune out the things that made me anxious or unsure. There were times I felt like I was back in college and I was just trying to fit in. Then other times I felt like I was back at square one and trying to impress the in laws again. Either way, it was exhausting. So when Eli needed a nap, I happily volunteered as tribute to lay with him. Nothing like a snuggle with someone who loves you for exactly who you are to make you realize that nothing else in the world matters. So from then on out it was smooth sailing. Literally. We had dinner, opened more presents, said goodbye to some folks and then we were off on the ship for sunset. It was perfection.
I am so lucky to have a son and a husband who see me. They see who I can be and who I was but they also see who I am in that moment and they love me just as much in that moment as in any other moment. I am theirs and they are mine. We are our own tiny family. With enough love to share with anyone who will share with us! But I still love my flower bud family.
So I am slightly worried that I may have ruined my Eli’s 1st Birthday by breaking up the cake so he can eat it instead of letting him struggle with it and the icing and start crying like I was afraid he was about too. What do you think?
Yes… this is a real question despite the cute picture of the not unhappy baby!
Tonight I put my family first.
I always want to put them first. I love them most. I just don’t always know how to show them. So I will tonight. By going to sleep so that I can be there tomorrow for them on a day of joy and celebration.
Tonight, by sleeping, I put my family first.
Thank you for making time for the theatrical arts today. I know it is the end of the school year and that can be a crazy time for every teacher!
I have to thank Darrel, Ms. Carter, Ms, Farlow, Ms. Howell, Ms. Jane, and Ms. Foster who have all been so supportive and welcoming as I have tried to find my way here.
Today you will be seeing 2 short shows. First up will be Troy, presented by my advanced theatre class. This class has worked so hard this semester not just to present the performance you will see here today, but you will also see their work in props and costume pieces in the lower schools production. In addition, this class also was selected to attend a live performance of Beauty and the Beast. Then asked to asses the production from an audience members point of view. They have been very busy!
After the performance of Troy, we will have a short, stand up, shake down, 120 second section of the show where we switch, swivel, and scuttle to show you a shiny new set for a show we call “The Stinky Cheese Man, and Other Fairy Silly Tales” brought to you by your very own 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders!
So sit back relax and enjoy our shows!
I thought of something else to add to the my ever growing “to do in life” list.
HOT AIR BALLOONING!
Anyone know how and where one can have such fun?
I can’t talk much tonight.
I did not sleep much last night and I have a lot of work to.
The good news is that the work I have, the stress I feel, is work and stress that I have put on myself. It is because I feel like I stand a chance to do something that makes a difference. I feel like the work I do matters. That feeling is amazing.
So for the next 2 days it will be pep-talks, mantras, and affirmations. That and lots of pictures of cute animals and funny YouTube videos.