Work To Make It Work

I feel the need to make something INSANELY CLEAR.

I have a lot of issues. That is not what needs to be made clear. I feel like that is pretty clear just from reading any one of my post. But one of the things that I am the most sure of in my life is Noah.
I am sure that when we make a choice, we are all in. When life throws things at us, we take it and do what ever the situation calls for. When we are afraid, we are comforted by the knowledge that we will be going through whatever it is together and although we both may be scared, we always tell ourselves there is nothing we cannot handle.
Although this is a newly adopted phrase, it is one that has been proven true time and time again. There is nothing we can’t handle, together. It is when we forget we are a team we become brittle as individuals.
That’s where this goes beyond a story book and becomes reality. Sometimes we have to be reminded that the stronger we are as a team the stronger we are as our own person. As much as I would LOVE to get rid of some of my oddities, I will never stop being me just because I have married Noah. I am never going to stop being me. But he loves me. And I love him. And we make a great team. Sometimes we slip up. Sometimes we are climbing up hill and I think he’s right beside me and when he’s not I get scared. When he finally gets there I am hurt from the fear that I have lost him and the pain of climbing this seemingly endless hill alone. He is upset climbing as well. All of this could have been avoided if we had just made the trek together. We would still hurt, but there would be less fear. In my encounters with pain, the less you fear it the less it actually hurts.
All this is to say my life is better because Noah is in it. I have no crystal ball and I cannot stand when people say things will “last forever”. To me that sounds like there is going to be no effort put in. Like you just expect it to last. Like bacon in the freezer. I don’t think that’s what it should be. What good is frozen bacon? Relationships have to be worked on. When Noah is not with me on that hill, I go looking for him and ask him where he is. And he does the same to me. We work to make us work.
I love you Noah.

Now stop laughing at how drunk I am and help me edit this so it makes sense!


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