Eli spent the night in our room which was fine when we were going to bed but, not so awesome this morning when he woke up at 8:30 and wondered why the 2 adults sleeping right across from him would not acknowledge him. He normally will go back to sleep until 10 or so (we are lucky like that), but not today. I bargained with Noah for an extra hours sleep I would take Eli to the pool and not bother him until noon. Sadly, I could not fall back asleep, so I relieved Noah and took Eli down a little early.
We had a BLAST! Because it was still early enough, we were two of maybe a dozen people at the pool and the only ones in the kid pool. Eli was fast and ready for the water! He was in that pool in no time and splashing around like he owned the entire thing. He was in heaven and so was I. I love when I see pieces of myself in Eli. As he continues to grow and get his own little personality, every now and again I catch a glimpse of myself as a child. A memory will come rushing back and my heart gets full with the thought of sharing that same fond memory with my child. I have always been a beach lover. The closer to the water I am, the happier I am. I love the pool as well. Really, just water in general. My uncle, who had a pool when I was growing up, would always joke that I was part fish. I see that part of me in Eli now, and I love it.
As much as we enjoyed being some of the only people at the pool, it quickly grew more populated as the morning changed to afternoon. Two adorable children joined us in the pool and were quick to come meet Eli and Me. They were adorable and as much as Eli protested having someone in “his pool” they laughed it off and played around talking to me and Eli as if we were old friends. Their parents were close by and quickly joined in the conversation and before long, I had a new group of friends. They are from Rochester, NY and drove 12 hours to spend the matriarchs birthday the way she wanted, surrounded by her family and loved ones. They told me they were going for pedicures that afternoon and invited me to come. And, I said yes.
As it grew closer for the time for me to meet them, I got nervous. All of my anxiety started rushing to my brain. “How long would we be gone?” “Is this really okay with them?” “Is my family really okay with me going?” “What if they were just being nice?” I almost texted them and told them I could not come. But, I swallowed my fear and went. We had a wonderful afternoon. We got our pedicures, I took them to a small local chain that they had never been to for lunch, we talked about everything. It was like I fell into a group of friends that I had always wanted to be a part of but never thought I could be. I found myself constantly thinking “How in the hell did I get the nerve to do this?” But I still never seemed to be too uncomfortable to care.
Later this evening they invited Noah and I to come play Cards Against Humanity. If you have never played this game, it is a quick way to decide how sick someones since of humor is. Ironically, Noah and I fit right in. Once again, I found my self wondering “How in the hell did I get the nerve to do this?” But then I remembered the me from my childhood. How I could never go to the beach with out making a friend. One time, I remember the family even letting my new friend spend the night in our room. I somehow had tapped into that innocent part of me that trusted that people were good.
For a little while, I stopped being the anxious version of myself and started letting go. I don’t know if it is the new medications or what. But that adventurous part of me, my favorite part of me is coming to life again. Now it is not just possible business adventures, but personal ones as well.
I am beyond relaxed. I am personally ready to try new and exciting things. I feel like I am in the best place to truly enjoy them.
I cannot wait to see what tomorrow holds!