This time of year is always rough for me. Many holiday seasons in a row were spent in the hospital for one reason or another. Once, it was Christmas Eve and I was rushed to an ER in a small town in NC and then transferred via ambulance to Wake Forest, where I normally go for treatments, to be under special care. I guess I lived to tell the tale and that in itself should be enough of a Christmas present, but call me selfish, I would have liked to try to survive the holidays with family and awkward conversation like the rest of the world instead of just trying to survive.
This year it is not me who is in the Hospital. (At least not yet.) My mother fell and broke her knee the other night. She is out of the hospital but is in a rehabilitation facility but it is horrible. It truly reminds me of a nursing home where people who cannot afford to send their parents to better care or just don’t care go. I am trying to not feel guilty because I feel like that is partly selfish. I can’t help but feel like if I had done better research/ any research then she would not be in this situation. I know I could not prevent the fall but I feel like I can do something about the care.
This is one of those situations where I can truly understand how much the situation sucks. It’s hard to be away from family around the holidays. If she is not going to be able to be at home, she should AT LEAST be in a place that feels more like a home than a low end insane asylum. I have found a place near the new house that, to be super honest, if I had to pick a place to recover, this is where I would want to be! The rooms are nice single rooms. The walls are painted warm colors. There is a bathroom, pictures on the walls, a TV, a recliner, a wardrobe and a nightstand. I know all of those things sound like silly petty details but right now, she has a nightstand, a place to hang clothes, and a roommate. The walls are white concrete and the entire building smells of urine. My first dorm was a better than this.
Like I said before, I have been in the hospital over the holidays over a few years and it is not where anyone goes for a good time. But right now, I would rather her be in the hospital than this place. It is why I am working so hard to get her into this new place as soon as possible. It’s important that she does not feel like I did over all those years. I feel like if you value spending the holidays with your family then you should be able to spend as much time with them as possible.
So, fingers crossed, I will have mom in her new temp home before we move into our new real home.