Turn it off

Today was not so easy. My depression tried to rear it’s ugly head but with Noah’s love and support it never turned into a full “d-Day”. (My new term for a day when my depression is truly crippling. Please note the lower case “d” because I do not want to show disrespect for our soldiers who fought on D-Day.)
Recently, most days have not been easy. They have been extremely anxiety ridden and pushing my physical limits which then creates a depression because I want to do more but I can’t. Yesterday was extremely productive in the sense that I got a lot done, but I still wanted to do more and could not. My body would not let me. Then I was stuck laying in bed thinking about all the things I wished I could do. Not to mention all the things that I know I have coming up after the move like work, a traditional trip to see The Nutcracker with my mini-bestie, the Waffle Party, and a Christmas party performance gig for people who have way more money than me that I am coordinating. Not that these are bad things. It is just where my mind drifts when I want to be productive and can’t be.
Regardless, tomorrow we sign on our house. Tomorrow I will get the keys to my new house. Tomorrow I will be one step closer to making a home for my family. Lets hope that I can focus on that and let my mind see that as enough of an accomplishment that I am able to let go when tomorrow has ended.
Wish me luck.


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