“Waiting for life to begin”

My last few nights have been restless.
My mind has just been racing with things that are out of my control. There is a job I really want and I have no idea how to go about getting it. I know this seems silly but I already work for this company so basically I would just need them to see how hard I work and give me the new work. My fear is that in a desperation to branch out they are going to essentially offer the work to a new person. Please hear me say, I am all about branching out and employing people in the arts. This is just a passion project that I have wanted to do for a very long time. But right now, all I can do is wait.
I know this probably makes no sense. I would be more specific but I feel like speaking in specifics will somehow jinx it. I am just going to have to cross my fingers, wish, hope, and pray that this will pan out.

Side note – I hate saying ‘pray’ because I feel like asking God for help for something as trivial as a job is somewhat silly. Things like this, I feel like, are more left up to the individual. God put me hear, he knows what I can do. Now I just have to do it. This does not mean I will not be crossing my fingers and look up for a sign.  We all have our weaknesses.

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