It’s Christmas Eve and I went to Church today. I am not a regular Church goer. I do believe in a high power. I feel it near me at times. I have to believe in a higher power after everything I have been through. So many times I have so narrowly escaped death or been diagnosed with something that was so rare that no one ever believed it was even possible. In the medical world I am just written off as an anomaly. In a faith based world either my attitude or my continuous belief in the higher power is what keeps me alive. If for no other reason, the faith story is WAY more interesting than the medical anomaly.
Regardless, Church was my escape. I needed to get away today. Too much had happened in one day and I felt the world crashing around me and there was nothing I could do. Even now, I am grasping at support beams. I have lived through worse hell than this! What is wrong with me?
Why can I not get it together?
I look to tomorrow with eager eyes.