I may have received an A on my parenting test.

*Not proof read.*

I’m big on experiences vs material gift when it comes to all present related holidays. Yes, I consider Birthdays a Holiday! What kind of monster doesn’t? Not to say that material things don’t have value. I have a wedding ring and that most deferentially value! But it in addition to the monetary value it also serves as representation of the commitment Noah and I have made to each other. It has sentimental value beyond being a wedding ring (which I will share in another post at another time maybe, could be possibly not because I will forget or get off task like I have done now.) not to mention the beautiful day he proposed and the day we got married.
And that’s what I want for Eli. I want him to remember the time we spent together. It was something we were never supposed to get.

This year I was lucky enough to get to take him to see The Nutcracker at UNCSA which he sat through almost the entire thing! (Lost him a little around the Sugar Plum). He has loved playing with the Nutcrackers around the house to the extent that my mother got him a stuffed Nutcracker so that he can sleep with one because he kept trying to take the wood ones to bed. During the scene where the Nutcracker grows, the tree grows first with this big swell of music, the rats run around with another swell of music, and then out comes the life size Nutcracker. Out of sheer excitement and awe Eli yelled at the top of his little 2 year old lungs “THE NUTCRACKER!” I am confident that the entire theatre, the cast and the backstage crew heard him. I know that young man playing The Nutcracker/Schasa was THRILLED to have on that mask because I know he was falling out laughing! I would have been! It was a beautiful moment from an enthusiastic theatrical appreciator.  His love of this ballet dose not stop there.
The other day we were in the car and I was listening to the sound track. It got to the part in the music where Fritz breaks the Nutcracker. Eli, who has been silent listening the entire time says “UtOh! It’s broken.” He remembered!?!?! I looked in the backseat to see if something else had broken. Nope. He really was listening to the music and remembered that is when the Nutcracker broke!

For his other experience this Christmas, Noah and I took him to Build a Bear where he was able to pick the animal he wanted to make. He helped stuff is, kissed it, put his heart in, and named him by himself. Our newest “family member” is Buttons. He carried him around with more pride that he had made something happen than if he had just been given something. It was so amazing. It has been a few days and he still carries Buttons everywhere. He even had me make Button P.J.’s! I cut the top off of one of his old onesiey (sp?) and put it on him as he was getting on his P.J.’s. Yeah, it’s getting to be a little over kill. But I like watching him care for Buttons. He carries him around, he kisses him a lot, and when he drops him he always says he sorry. It really is beautiful to see your child show compassion. It is a reminder that your children reflect what you show them. Don’t neglect to show them compassion for yourself.  

It is rare I feel like I score as a parent. I’m going to call this one a win.

Who am I?

One day I will be able to tell the story I know, but right now I keep it close. Those who I feel the need to know, know it. The rest of the world can bugger off. As Mark Twain said “Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.” I don’t think he meant the truth in the sense of truth or lie but more so of who is worthy of hearing YOUR truth. It is not worth telling it to people who may find you false. It will only end in pain. Pain I thought would never end. But out of the ashes rises the phoenix.

Or at least a slightly awkward duck.

So here I am. A slightly awkward duck slowly but surely becoming less and less awkward by the day. I have been given a slightly different path and I am like a little kid again. I am back with the school I worked with last year. However, I am backed with TWICE as many kids and parents fighting for a drama program. I find myself getting more excited about projects than I have been in such a long time. Beyond that, there is such a level of support that comes not just from the higher-ups, but from my coworkers, the students I work with and their parents! This is not to say I do not mess up. I do! And with gusto! But there is my amazing support system telling me that it’s okay. They have my back. This is still something new and they want to see me succeed because when I do, so do their children.
I have also taken on a new hobby-tunity. It’s like a hobby and an opportunity combined. Long story SUPER short, I have started working a Craft, Antique, and Flee Market once a month to bring in a little extra cash. This allows me to go on more trips like the one I took to Baltimore.  With November being a scratch for a trip, December looking the same, January does not look promising because of school, I am hoping for a big trip in February. The Flees are fun. They are a chance to meet great new people be it other vendors or possible customers. I try to have a mix of stuff from my Grandmothers, so antique stuff, my own art, and then an artist I have commissioned. Last time it was my mother in law’s work. I think next time I am going to ask my right hand at the school who does ALL of my costumes for me (she is my Wonder Woman) if she would make a few cool things for me to sell. I call my self the Picky Picker. It came to me in one of my morphine moments when I was at the ER for PNH pain. It had to do with me picking people, places, and things to be around, visit, and to trade or refurbish for little to no money. It was like a challenge. I still love the concept, but I am not going to be able to keep up 2 blogs at once so now all of my Picky Picker action will be here as well.
All around, I can’t complain. I still hurt every now and again. For those of you who follow my blog, you know that I wrote one on duck feathers. Ducks have feathers that allow water to just roll right off their backs. I used to be so proud of my duck feathers. Sadly, I molted. But I am working hard to get them back. One at a time.